Dating sites for women and men alone(...)s
Stella Jourdain, the fifties, is a pleasant and naturally smiling woman, “radiant” said his entourage. But she has been a widow since 2009 and she signed up on a dating site.
Today, her four children are growing up and she is thinking of finding a soul mate : someone to count on, whose reassuring shoulder would be there when needed.
She is independent, she knows how to manage her daily life because she has already faced the vagaries of life : she therefore wishes to remain master of her destiny. But she feels lonely, excruciatingly alone, terribly alone… The day it gets too heavy, she decides to follow the advice of a friend: register on a dating site, one of the best known.
After several months of reflection, and after many hesitations, so she embarks on adventure. No photo, just to see, possibly meet one or more people in the hope of finding that famous shoulder ...
Stella, a lonely woman among so many others… Drawing by Frédéric Lepage for Itinerrances Reports
Some meetings… disappointing
“I went backwards, but also with hope…” From there, some meetings, after discussions and exchanges written on the Net.
An artist, 58 years, divorced once, alone too, even isolated in a huge house. Her behavior appeared to Stella, very nervous, too nervous even.
A second man, lost too: divorced twice, two daughters of a first wife who left him for another. This first divorce was very badly experienced, second marriage to a second woman who already had three children on her side. A boy, born of this couple, is today aged 19 years.
Ensuite, more soberly, two friends, one after the other, chess again. But our man keeps rehashing this complicated sentimental past and Stella passes her turn: he's a far too whimsical and unstable man.
The human market, trafficking in feelings
“When I go to the dating site I joined three months ago, I immediately felt like I was on the market doing my shopping, to choose my fruits and vegetables: it, I take… that no: overripe… too green… expired… rotten… (To laugh) »
“This experience of a few months was both disappointing and enriching : I expected to meet more stable people in their lives, even when they are alone. I know loneliness is a heavy burden to bear, but not to the point of becoming so unstable and distrustful of so many men vis-à-vis the female gender.
“There are those who want to have fun”
On the other hand, I learned a lot about human nature, she adds with a smile, everything is not all black or all white ; these people are sometimes unhappy following a difficult experience, overwhelmed by events, want to have fun although already married, everyone drags their own pans and faces as best they can.
For three months of registration, Stella wonders if she is suing. "I don't read books anymore, I only live through this site. I see that some are connected 24h / 24h…”
She adds: “It's so hard to meet people in everyday life and so easy to go through dating sites. But it comes at a cost: the subscription amounts to 40 € minimum per month (visible connection, with or without photo, choice of criteria…), more expensive if we want to remain anonymous ; at the end of 48 hours of testing, we receive an invitation to become a member.”
Loneliness is an evil in our society, which some sites take advantage of, more or less honestly, but there is room because it is a simple and within reach of almost all.
A price to pay in addition to his lowered pride, a door open to anything and everything if you are not careful ...
Stella Jourdain and Valérie Doulevant
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